What a YEAR!

It is at this time of year when everyone starts to reminisce about the year they have had. I am no different! It has been an amazing year for me! While finishing up grad school took up a great deal of my energy, I was still able to find a bit of time to shoot. I accomplished a great many things this year and it still amazes me that I have any hair left and that it is not completely white from the happy stress I have put myself through this year.

The first half of the year was consumed with finishing my masters degree. All weekends were spent reading or writing and I found myself exceedingly frustrated by the fact that I was not able to get out an shoot as much as I would like. I knew however that it would be worth it! I was able to eke out a few hours here and there to appease my inner wanderer. Since I did not have much time however you will find that most of my favorite shots from this year were captured close to home. (HOW LUCKY AM I THAT THIS BEAUTY IS CLOSE TO HOME?)  People often ask me why I choose to go out alone so often... they have asked me that ALOT this week after getting myself kind of stuck out there alone. There is a peacefulness that I really can't experience when there are other people there. There is something about being able to hear nature singing to you without distraction... you really should try it sometime!

 It was not just school that kept me busy this year. As many of you know we also spent most of the year planning a pretty big event. This is the year we got officially... legally HITCHED!!! We spent the whole year planning... and purchasing... and dieting... and exercising... and stressing over what our special day would be like. When it arrived and all of the stress reached its frenzied apex... it was MORE AMAZING THAN I COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!! Surrounded by our amazing families and friends we legalized our commitment to each other.

 Following our wedding we went on an AMAZING hiking adventure to Tuscany and the Cinque Terra in Italy! the hiking was awesome, we hiked about 100 miles in 10 days and had a BLAST! The photography was not what I had hoped for but I would not trade the experience for ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!! It was so awesome to be back in that place and to wander the hills that feel so much like home to me. I am at the point in my life where I still have so many things I want to do and see that I am not likely to repeat a destination... but I can't imagine not going back to Italy. 

 
 

 But wait there is more! Not only did I have the happy stress of finishing school and getting married, but I also started a new job as an emergency services clinical nurse specialist!!! This was another one of those happy stresses that kind of consumes your life for a while. I see great things in my future here and settling into my new position has been great fun!

So where does a girl go from here? Well as I am sure you can imagine... I won't be sitting still for long. I begin working toward my doctorate of nursing practice degree in January. Which means for the next 2 years, I am not likely to have much time to shoot... I am sure I will find some time somewhere.   

The sounds of the journey

I was thinking today of the many journeys I am on. I am, like all of us, on the global journey of life, I am deep in the trenches of the grad school journey, I have recently embarked on a journey for physical strength and well being, and I am about to embark on the journey toward a new career path, and of course my journey to improve my photography. All of these journeys converged in my brain this morning and I became the most overwhelmed I have ever been. All I could think to myself was "DEAR LORD THERE IS NO WAY I WILL HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THIS!" It occurred to me that something would surely have to be given up in order to make adequate time for the others. My worst fear was that I would have to give up or back off on my photography in order to be successful at these other endeavors... It is at this point that I began to cry... the one thing I love to do more than almost anything else would have to take a back seat to everything else.

As I often do in these situations I swallowed hard, pulled up my big girl panties and started some studying that I needed to get done today. It was in the middle of this study time that a friend texted me to see if I was interested in hitting the trails with them. I almost sent a text back that informed them of my previous mini nervous break-down and how much I needed to get down and that there was simply NO TIME I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME... instead I said yes.

As we began our hike my brain was filled with all of those thoughts of how I would no longer have time for all of the things that make me so very awesome. The words kept running through my head like a catchy song that you hate but can't get rid of... maybe something sung by one of the American Idols :) As we walked on and this great friend engaged me in conversation that had nothing to do with any of it, I began to look around and it did not take long for the sounds of my immediate journey into the desert to overpower, drown out, and eventually silence ALL those other voices. It is funny how the sound of your own foot falls and the pounding of your pulse in your head can drown the negative voices that tell you "you CANT". Eventually all I heard was birdsong and footfalls and the sound of the wind through the trees, and I realized that I would simply have to find time to continue being AWESOME.

Thank you dear friend for helping me quiet my mind and put all things in perspective

Power

My most recent assignment for grad school is a concept analysis of the concept "power". What this means is that I get to write a paper about what power is and what it is not. That seams like it should be pretty simple right? Consider it for a moment. What is power and what does it mean to you? What sort of emotions does it stir? Does the word make you feel good or bad? Power can be utilized in several different way. When someone says the word power most people think about control over others and influence over them. This can be described as 'power over'. When I think of power in this way it gives me a creepy feeling. Nurses rarely feel comfortable with power that is described this way. But another definition and way to think about power is 'power to'. This refers to ones ABILITY or CAPACITY to achieve their goals. As a peaceful but powerful person I myself am much more comfortable with considering power from this angle.

As I contemplated this concept I began to wonder how often people recognize the power that they hold within themselves. Each one of us wields limitless power in our everyday lives and we almost never recognize it. Each one of us has the ability and capacity to reach our goals and that is PURE POWER. I recently was interviewing for a job I REALLY wanted and one of the people interviewing me asked me "what is your dream job?" Immediately my mothers voice came into my head saying "honesty is the best policy". Without hesitating I said... "getting paid to be a photographer... but since that is not so likely let me tell you why I would LOVE this job" Needless to say... I did not get that job. At first I thought... well clearly mom was WRONG honesty is not ALWAYS the best policy... but then I began thinking... Each one of us has infinite POWER (capacity or ability to achieve our goals) so why shouldn't I take this change in plans as a chance to follow that goal and make it a reality. I am not expecting to be able to pay my bills as a landscape photographer, but I do intend to take this "missed opportunity" for promotion in my career and turn it into a seized opportunity for a promotion in my life. I have not been out shooting much lately because I can always find a school/work/relationship reason NOT to shoot... but I plan to harness my power and turn it in the direction of my bliss. What goal have you been choosing not to achieve because you did not realize you had the power to do it? Think about it and consider what has been getting in your way. I think most of us would realize only WE have been getting in our own way.

Rat Race

Each morning that I work my alarm goes off at 5 am, I groan and roll over to hit the snooze button. I generally get out of bed before it goes off again, but I rarely enjoy the experience. On the flip side of this coin are the days that I DO NOT work. I rarely sleep past 4am and awaken without any assistance from that stupid clock. When I do set an alarm for my days off it is generally set for 3am or earlier in order to get to whichever spot I have chosen to photograph prior to sunrise. This is all in an attempt to not miss the "golden hour" of photogenic light. I do not find it at all painful to rise this early on my blissful mornings off in fact it is quite the opposite.

Several years ago I made a New Years resolution to see at least 80% of the sunrises that year. The entire year I think I may have missed only a handful of them. There is something that is so peaceful to me about greeting the new day in quiet solitude. Often we let our lives and responsibilities get in the way of those small moments of peace that we can find from just getting up a few minutes earlier. Think about how much more productive your day might be if did not need to begin each day racing against the clock. Do you begin your days stressed out because you have 90 minutes worth of morning routine to fit into 70 minutes of available time? Do you let your children get away with "5 more minutes" until they are running out the door half dressed chasing after the school bus? Do you run around like a crazy person trying to find your keys/shoes/pants ect every morning? Think about the peace that could come from giving yourself 15 extra minutes each day. What would you do with that time? Would you read the paper and actually SIT DOWN to have breakfast? Would you take your coffee to your front porch and watch the sunrise? Would you just take a moment to breathe or maybe even show up for work on time?

Our planet wakes slowly. She starts with the lightening silver gray of pre dawn and works her way into a fiery display of reds and oranges. If you are lucky enough to catch her on a day where the clouds hang in the sky she will DAZZLE you with beauty. Try not to miss this life affirming display by letting your rat race get in the way.

Conflict management

Continuing with our management skills project... this week I though about conflict management and resolution. It has been a rough week to be a leader in an emergency room. We remained very busy all week and our staff is weary. We have had an ER full of really sick people and we all pulled together to do a really great job taking care of them. No real conflict to resolve there. Where I do have conflict sometimes is in my own mind. I woke up this morning knowing that I wanted to get out and take some shots. I set the alarm so that I could again be in position for the golden hour around sunrise... filled the tank with gas and realized I had NO IDEA where I wanted to go... let the conflict begin. I began driving north... then changed my mind and turned west... then changed my mind again and turned east... by the time I got out of town I had missed an exquisitely beautiful sunrise that comes only from a mostly cloudy sky. I knew I had missed my chance for a great shot because the mostly cloudy sky that makes for a great sunrise makes for an overcast day and I am just the kind of great photographer that can turn a cloudy day into a great photo... YET. So I hit shuffle on my music and decided I would just go for a drive to see what I could see. I found myself driving out of town toward the Parhanghat Valley about an hour outside of Las Vegas.

Let me just say... I love the desert and have always been drawn to it. I love the vegetation and the rock formations and would not trade where I live... but sometimes it is nice to see the color green that only comes from moist nitrogen rich soil. So I sat by the lake for about an hour and took some shots and again let my mind wander. I got some good stuff and scoped out some future sites but most importantly my inability to resolve the conflicts in my own mind I was able to find to peace to quiet that mind long enough to hear natures morning song... and I saw a BEAVER!!! (I think)... stop the snickering :)

Time Management

In keeping with the leadership skills line of thought I thought I would talk this week about time management. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I find myself frustrated QUITE often. It seems as though I am always finding something fun that I do not have time to do. Recently that something has been my photography. I am in a very demanding graduate program... I find myself needing to go into work for something almost every single day... (it has become a bit of an inside joke in fact my last day off I found myself in there 3 different times). There is always a meeting to attend or a schedule to pick up or drop off or a class I need to take. I write things in my calendar and each level of task priority has its own assigned color... RED for high priority, BLUE for mid level priority and GREEN for things I need to get done but it does not have to be today. I find that most of my tasks end up to be written in RED and I often find myself wondering "how the heck am I going to get all of this done today?" But my photography is never in RED... in fact it rarely makes it to the list at all. Well the other day I made a point of putting it on the list... IN RED! As a mater of fact it was the ONLY thing that was on my list that day. I set my alarm for 3:30 AM so I could be sure to catch sunrise and the golden hour. I got up threw on some deodorant and clothing made a cuppa coffee grabbed my gear and hit the road. It had been raining off and on for a few days so there was hope that the cloud patterns might make for a captivating shot. I headed out in the dark for a place I seldom get a chance to go but decided on this day that would be my destination. I found my spot just in time for the sun to start warming up the sky and sat waiting... and waiting... and waiting. It ended up the sun and cloud cover did NOT make for a captivating shot... they made for a gradual easing into the day that often happens when the sun never peaks through the clouds. I continued to sit there camera in lap... listening to the birds as they began their day... watching the bats return from a night of keeping our desert somewhat bug free... listening to the silence you find when you have chosen to beat the rest of the world to their day. I found myself so relaxed that I did not even care that my photos were not spectacular. As it turned out I should not necessarily have entered photography in red on my date book but rather "connect to self by disconnecting from all of the MUST DO's" I learned a great deal about time management on that day... it turns out that when you make the time for yourself your desire to make time for others increases.
Take the time to stop and listen to the symphony that plays all around you everyday while you are rushing to complete your 'Tasks"

Productivity

As you can tell... my plan to actively force myself to photograph and post at last once a week has failed... miserably. School and work have successfully gotten in the way... A LOT! There are so many things that I want to do and so often I find myself saying "I just don't have time to... go for a hike... take the dogs for a walk... read that book about ending nurse nurse hostility...learn to use photoshop... go to that photography workshop... foster new friendships" ect ect ect... I occurred to me however that I waste a great deal of every day doing stupid things... playing solitaire or slot games on my phone... roving on facebook... or watching television. I wondered how much I could actually ACCOMPLISH if I chose to cut out some of this wasted time. I took a long hard look at how I spend each day... both the days I work and the days I have off and it occurred to me that if I were to cut television out of my day I could accomplish soooo much more in a day. To that end I have chosen to make the month of May... NO TELEVISION MAY! My plan is to have Maria hide the remote controls... ALL OF THEM!... If I am bored I will read a book, go for a walk, call a friend, or take Candice out and shoot some photos. I might even be able to keep that promise I made to myself over 6 months ago that I would go out shooting at least once a week. Stay tuned for updates and new photos as the month of May progresses!