If you google the phrase "mid-life crisis" you come up with 42,600,000 results. You can find everything from a definition to an explanation of why it is a load of hoo-ha created by a youth centric western society to give people an excuse for going crazy because they are loosing their hair, getting a spare tire, noticing a few more wrinkles or finally realizing that the "dead end" job or relationship they have been in for years is truly a dead end. I found support groups for people going through a "mid-life crisis", for the spouses of people going through a "mid life crisis", for the adult children of people going through a "mid-life crisis". I found face creams and hand creams and advertisements for volunteer organizations abroad.
In forty-two million six hundred thousand results... a person can get a lot of information, but the one thing I figured out was that everyone goes through a time when they realize their life is not turning out exactly like they had planned. Celebrities get to call it "reinventing themselves"... we normal people have to field the comments of "well... she has just gone completely CRAZY... bless her heart" and for a little while I thought this might be true. What was missing from my life that was making me so blue? I have an amazing relationship with a WONDERFUL woman who loves me as much as I love her. I had a job that paid the bills... most of the time. I have a family who loves me just the way I am... what the hell was I bitching about.
It was not until I got out here and started doing the things I had always said I would do that I realized that was all there was to it. I still work as a nurse, and it still pays the bills, and it still is not as much fun as it used to be... but that does not matter because I work 3 days a week which leaves the other 4 for hiking. I still hate being apart from my family (which was true even when I lived in Indiana) but I can't wait to show them all of this beauty I have found out here. I still miss my wife dearly but I am strengthened by the fact that each day brings us closer to being back together again.
I guess what I am getting at is this... if you are going to have a "mid life crisis" do it right and fix what is broken. In order for me to do this I had to do an enormous amount of soul searching to figure out what it was that I was missing. Now that I have found it all I am waiting for is for all the pieces to fall into place. Then I will be able to say I have had a proper and successful "mid life crisis". (and I didn't even need to get a sports car :)
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