Mixed Messages

Returning from a long vacation it is pretty routine to convince yourself that you need to "get back on the wagon" and loose that vacation weight. My vacation was a bit different in that I did a great deal of exercise over the last month. I also ate only healthy whole food that was fresh and without so many preservatives. So I came home from vacation feeling pretty good about myself. However it took me less than a week to fall back into the same bad routines I have always fallen back on. Like so many other people (maybe even some reading this blog), I have been on a roller coaster of of dieting, loosing weight, and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin my entire life. I can remember being about 12 years old and being up at 5am doing the "30 minute workout"... that was the 80's kids so you KNOW i was all decked out in my spandex leotard and leg warmers... that's right... leg warmers. Even at that young age I was conscious about my shape and size. Most of my life I have actually just felt uncomfortable in my skin and pretended like I did not care enough to do anything about it.

The reality is that I am just tired of trying to do something about it. I am going to share something with you all here... please don't tell anyone this... but, I LIKE FOOD!!! In fact I would go so far as to say I love it! It is not just something I use to keep me alive. I enjoy the cooking of it, the sharing of it with family and friends and even when I am alone I love the taste the texture and the experience of eating. What I do not love is the way I feel about myself.

Where does the "buck stop"? When does "I feel physically uncomfortable" beat out the "I love the way cheesecake tastes"? Why is it so difficult for some of us to overcome our love of the eating experience even though the aftermath can be both physically and emotionally painful?

Life is short and somehow we need to find a balance between what brings us happiness and what brings us healthiness.